We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize