Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Randomize