oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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