Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize