If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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