Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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