There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
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this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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