I just pynch a tree in the face
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
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