I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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