are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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