So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize