You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize