proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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