when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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