Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
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i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
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Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm getting married
To pizza
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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