There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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