Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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