i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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