oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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