I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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