Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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