He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
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When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
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Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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