You work out of a Hotel?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize