I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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