guys are not supposed to queef...right?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize