I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
kristin has been a bad kristin
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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