if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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