Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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