Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize