We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize