There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
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Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
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I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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