Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize