we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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