How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
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pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
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You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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