I'm really into asian looking animals
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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