my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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