A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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