If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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