I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize