my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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