please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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