i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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