i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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