I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
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