You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
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Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
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Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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