5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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