i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
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Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
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I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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