I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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