smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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