we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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